The idea of finding a balance and accepting both the yin and yang in our lives is something I’m still coming to grips with. I spent a lot of my life feeling like I should know what ‘type’ of person I was, how that person would behave and what they'd want to do with their life.
From an early age it felt like we were being asked to define ourselves and by doing so create opposites: identifying what we were and therefore what we weren’t. At school you were either into creative arts or science, sporty or academic, good at contributing to discussions or shy, sociable or a loner. And when it came to careers advice after running through a list of questions for determining what job you would be best suited to, I was horrified by some of the outcomes: was that really what I was meant for?
Once in the workplace this need to categorise seemed to continue, often in the form of psychometric tests or development workshops. Words like introvert and extrovert become common references, are you a thinker or a feeler, starter or completer finisher.
This always seemed very restrictive and led to doubts. I didn’t fit neatly into any of the boxes which were being offered. I was more of a jumble of pieces but if I couldn’t pin down the pieces then who was I?
Of course it's helpful to understand ourselves and our behavior, especially in our relationships with others and when making decisions about what we want in life. But what I’m finally accepting is that there are many different aspects to us as individuals and they can exist side by side.
In Melody Beattie’s Daily Meditations she says: “Pull in all the parts of yourself, the many beautiful parts that have come alive. Beckon your warrior, your healer, your playful child. Bring together your professional self, your adult, the passionate part of you, the nurturing part. Let all the parts come together. Don’t send any of them away. You need them all. Each is a beautiful piece of the soul, the life, the person you are.”
In yoga too, the different sides are reflected. Yin is a more meditative, introspective practice and focuses on letting go and surrender. Yin yoga targets the ligaments and joints and postures are held for longer periods, usually sitting or lying down. Yang yoga is considered more dynamic and outward moving. It stretches and strengthens muscular tissues, develops stamina and most postures involve standing. By practicing both we can balance the body.
So back to swimming and music…….and what’s that got to do with yin and yang? Well sometimes we might feel like wild and outgoing: we want to run into the sea, opening ourselves up to the elements and get a rush of energy. We might want to dance and sing and get caught up in the emotion of a live gig. But other times we may need to go inwards, find some silence and simplicity. We look for places of comfort and safety where we can be more reflective.
They don’t have to be exclusive, we don’t have to choose one or the other. They are all elements of ourselves, our yin and our yang, and we should welcome them all.